I am 3

I am 3 years old and I am tiny

Many trips to the doctor will be made in the forthcoming years

To confirm and hope that I won’t be a “little person”

He calls me big girl in hopes that I will be a big girl someday

But for now I am 3 and I am tiny

~

I am 3 years old and I am angry

I do not like preschool, but I am made to go anyway

I am 3, and I do not like preschool, being forced to go,

I want to be home with mommy

Mommy works

I am 3 years old and I am angry

~

I am 3 and he forgets to pick me up from preschool

He is drunk and not reliable

I am often the last one left at school

Me and the teacher, the teacher who wants to leave too

I am 3, I am forgotten, I am lonely

~

I am 3 and I am alone

Cars buzz by on the busy street

An owl stares down at me from a palm tree

I am alone in the world and I wait

I am 3, I am alone, and I am angry

~

I am 3, I am tiny, I am angry, I am alone

I am so angry that I wish him dead

I turn around and I stare at him

He is asleep in my bed

and with all of my 3 year old might

I wish him dead.

I am 3, I am tiny, I am alone, I am angry

~

I am 3 and I am worried

I am alone and I don’t know how or why they forgot me

I think they must be dead, hurt, injured

I watch each car pull in,

Hoping, praying, knowing the next car will be for me

The cars are never there for me

I am 3, I am alone, and I am worried

~

I am 3 , I am tiny, and it is dark

In my bedroom shadows from the street lamp

cast creepy people into my room

The door is left open and the light in the bathroom is on

Just for me

I stare at it, the light as my last hope

It is not enough, I do not sleep

I feel scared and lonely

I am 3, I am tiny, it is dark and I am scared.

~

I am 3, I am tiny, I am worried

Why have they forgotten me at the preschool

The preschool I hate

Where they try and make me drink milk

I do not drink milk, I do not eat yucky preschool food

I am 3, I am tiny,  I am forgotten.

~

I am 3 years old and I am tiny

Someday I will grow up to be a normal size

Someday I will grow up and I will chase after

Peace, Joy, Love, and Ease

I will comfort that tiny, lonely 3 year old

And whisper in her ear

That she is not alone.

She is not tiny.

She is not forgotten.

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3 comments

  1. Worldly Winds · April 30, 2012

    Awwww ))sniff((
    this is powerful and hard hitting – I love it!
    Brilliant – thanks for sharing

  2. Carey S. Clark, RN, PhD · April 30, 2012

    Thanks I am crying too…. aw healing….

  3. Carey S. Clark, RN, PhD · April 30, 2012

    And the next post shows some resolution, but grieving is an ongoing process….

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