Stardust

Once the universe exploded

*BANG*

And I was there

Gas and particles

Creating something new

~

And then there was an earth

Covered in ice

I was there

Frozen in time

Particles of ice and dust clinging together

~

Next came a worldwide fire

I was burning from within

And from without

My particles combining

Expanding

Rearranging

~

I was a dinosaur, a fish, a butterfly, and an eagle

I was particles floating and flying

like pollen on a warm spring day

carried by the wind

I was a tree, breathing out fresh oxygen

That even today I breath back  in

~

Fire and Ice, rains and floods, beings and particles

I am these particles

God moving me from stardust

To consciousness, cycle after cycle

Knowing I would return

To that dust again.

~

In this consciousness, in this here and now

I ask myself

I ask my creator

For grace, and peace, and hope

As the particles around me crumble

reform and recombine

help me to make way for something unique each day.

 

This Mountain: A story of and lesson in ease

It is cold out; it is June and we are at 8,000 feet in the sky. I do not believe it is only 43 degrees at 7 in the morning

So I check several sources and yes it is 43

But I am from Maine, so I can wear shorts and layers

I head out toward the mountain and pass a lady along the way

She wears a hat, a jacket, sweat pants, and gloves

She is not from Maine, I gather

As I say good morning

~

I begin to jog, it feels good and easy

Until I get to the slopes

And the lactic acid kicks in

Heart pounding

Legs aching

Lungs crying

I walk

and I stop

I almost crawl up some of the steep slope

But I stop again

and I look around me

Taking the time to find the ease and beauty

in the moment

~

At any moment we can find this

We can stop our uphill battle

be present

and see the beauty of the mountain

of melting snow

of rushing water

At any moment we can breath

And honor our human condition

as we step into the here and now

at any moment we can let go and simply be

~

I re-evaluate my route on this morning walk/ hike. I  jog

Starting and stopping

jogging and hiking

Sliding down the mountain

Breathing and noticing

Finding the ease for myself

as I look for the way back

Back and back and back

~

I stop and breathe and notice God’s creation

all around me

within me

this journey goes on

I change paths and go further, further, further then I had planned

and all that I must do is notice, seek ease, trust that I am guided toward

exactly where I need to be.

~

May all beings be able to stop and let go of the struggle

May all being know peace, joy and ease

May all beings uncover the truth

of that which is the only permanence

the alpha, the omega, the mother-father God within

And find a way to create ease from the heart.

These Rings

On my left hand, the ring finger, a wedding ring

Symbolizing my bonding

To my best friend

The man who knows me so well

Connected

~

On the pointer finger, The left hang

A ring from my mother

She had it custom made in Monterey

She wore it as a wedding ring

A reminder of where I came from

Connected

~

On my right thumb

A snake wraps around and around

Holding my thumb tightly

The snake represents regeneration

Change and growth

Transcend and Include

Past, Present, Future

~

On my right pointer finger

A giant ring

With green and yellow amber

from a special conference

A reminder

To stay connected

~

Connected to the heart

And opening up to others

That love may heal where

We have been

And guide us where we are headed to.

Me and You, Don’t We See?

It’s hard being just ME

With an EGO from here to there

Don’t you see, don’t you see?

It’s hard being just ME.

~

It must be difficult being YOU

Over the gap from here

Don’t you see, don’t you see?

I want to meet you over there.

~

It’s almost impossible to be WE

We have to go to that space

Where we can see

Beyond the bounds of time and space

~

Let’s evolve our consciousness

So we can see, we can see

Beyond this limited dimension

Of a distant YOU and ME

Missing the Mother

I miss her

as I sit in this gap

between here and now

and then and there

I miss her

~

Mama, mommy, mother

So many words

to symbolize

that great love

that helps create who we are

great nurturer

I miss her

~

My heart cries out

Mama, mommy, mother

where are you now?

I feel the break from her

almost everyday now

she no longer visits in my dreams

I miss her

~

Laying on a massage table

a specific yogic pose

a question from my daughter

wells up the pain

of the separation from mother-G*d

I miss her

~

Once I sat on a therapist’s couch

and I cried and cried

my heart breaking open wide

for my mommy

it felt good and yet foolish

but the therapist knew

what the mother archetype represents

~

I miss her

and my own daughter reminds me now

of mother-love

with tears in her eyes, she asks

if I miss my mommy

because she misses me when she is at school

I want to prevent her suffering

and yet I know it is life

to miss your mother

and learn that the real gap

is that distance from

the Father-Mother G*d.

~

So I will go ahead and miss her

my mommy

across the gap somewhere

is where she resides

and I hope to feel her presence

in my heart again

~

I miss her.

 

 

Coming Home

I return home, oddly refreshed and exhausted at the same time

A conference attended, well worth the effort of the 8 hour drive

But what compares to home?

~

A husband who has a big bowl of popped corn to share

A dog who greets me lovingly and enthusiastically

A child who look so grown up,

I wonder if this is really my little baby

Sleeping quietly on the couch

Waiting for mama

~

Nothing compares to home

Another child, asleep in her bed

too many covers

A warm cheek to kiss, hair damp from being too warm

~

This is home

A cat who purrs loudly

While cuddling on the lap

Piles of laundry that can wait for later

Cool coastal winds blowing through the open bedroom window

~

Home, with its high tides

Right outside the window

The impending coastal storm

The green all around

~

Home, where my heart dwells

Where my love grows

Where I am grounded

Where I am loved

Home….