Missing the Mother

I miss her

as I sit in this gap

between here and now

and then and there

I miss her

~

Mama, mommy, mother

So many words

to symbolize

that great love

that helps create who we are

great nurturer

I miss her

~

My heart cries out

Mama, mommy, mother

where are you now?

I feel the break from her

almost everyday now

she no longer visits in my dreams

I miss her

~

Laying on a massage table

a specific yogic pose

a question from my daughter

wells up the pain

of the separation from mother-G*d

I miss her

~

Once I sat on a therapist’s couch

and I cried and cried

my heart breaking open wide

for my mommy

it felt good and yet foolish

but the therapist knew

what the mother archetype represents

~

I miss her

and my own daughter reminds me now

of mother-love

with tears in her eyes, she asks

if I miss my mommy

because she misses me when she is at school

I want to prevent her suffering

and yet I know it is life

to miss your mother

and learn that the real gap

is that distance from

the Father-Mother G*d.

~

So I will go ahead and miss her

my mommy

across the gap somewhere

is where she resides

and I hope to feel her presence

in my heart again

~

I miss her.

 

 

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