Attachment, aversion, so it is

I sit on this rocking dock, on an August afternoon that feels like Fall.

Winds gently blow and create small waves rippling across the large lake.

White mountains loom in the background, reminding me of longevity, the eternal nature of all things.

I breathe in peace, exhale compassion for self and others.

I inhale love, light, I exhale peace for all.

I ride the gentle waves on the dock, shut my eyes, breathe. notice, and list.

Attached to…

Hot sun on a dry summer day

The beauty of nature, across all seasons

Moving my body through space

Hot creamy coffee (decaf), morning after morning

Cuddles anytime of day

Cozy sweaters

Fun times

Dancing the night away

My dear family and pets


Fine food

My own moods and emotions

Hot tea

Caring for others

Writing and reading

Averse to…


Summer ending

Bleak Spring


Loss, grief, pain

Ice cubes

“Hard” work and details

Bad dreams

Some changes


Illness, pain in myself and my family

The stress response



And so it is, is that so….

The list changes daily

So hum, so hum, so hum….

Despite it all Sat Nam, I am, So Hum.










Last Beautiful Night

We walked into the restaurant, only a few minutes late

An old house converted to satisfy diners’ desires.

We sat at an elegant white clothed table, a simple single flower at the center.

Menus and specials were announced, water arrived, we discussed our choices.

I looked at our fellow diners in the room, some skeptical perhaps that 2 young girls can dine and behave.

Orders placed, how does an 8 year old grow such a refined pallet? Will a 6 year old ever catch up?

Soup, salad, drinks, bread, sweet honey whipped butter…

Just the beginning of a beautiful meal, a celebration of life lived and that yet to come.

A birthday dinner.

Everything is served on thick white china, utensils click against the sides of the china.

Petite filet mignon for one youngster, chicken fingers and perfect pommes frites for the other

Pork mole and smoked vegetable ravioli round out the entrees.

Aromas are wonderful, tastes are marvelous, plates are shared with bites passed around.

Can we eat almost all of it, nothing to waste or take home? Let’s try anyway.

The room has grown darker as we have taken our time, the sun set some time ago, we finish the entrees.

And now we think, dessert? Of course dessert, we are celebrating a birthday.

Cards and gifts are opened, decaf coffee sipped with a sense of creamy comfort

Then the end of the meal… sorbet, brullee, and a fancy house specialty dessert.

Two candles are lit on one dessert and all in the room join in for a quiet happy birthday.

Pass, savor, luxuriate, enjoy this bounty, sip this decaf and continue to smile.

Realize the pleasure must end, so satisfied, the party is over, and now a long drive home.

Children gaze up through a moon roof at a black velvety sky sprinkled with stars and planets.

Soon they drift off to sleep, bellies full, trusting that our love will bring them safely home.

The car soars through the night. A new memory completed, now blankets, pillows, snuggle down.

The end of the last beautiful night.

Love, serve, remember

Love, serve, remember… why we are here today?


Love, deeply, fully, with all of your heart

Close your eyes, focus on the heart

Feel love deeply from within

Spread love out toward all


Serve fellow human and animal beings

We are all on this planet-spaceship together

Bow deeply toward another

Recognizing and feeling  the connection


Remember from whence you came

Stardust, recycled materials, eternal forever

Agreements made and fulfilled, living a long dream

Love, serve remember….


Letting go

The warmth
The light
Bright blue sky
Humidity growing
Fast moving storms
Late nights
Long days
Sundresses, swimsuits, sandals
Adventures and travels
Suddenly the shadows change
The days grow shorter
Leaves changing
Wind whispering
Of the season ahead
Let it go and welcome
A new season
Express gratitude
For the days gone by
And the work ahead

D.I.Y Poem: Chose your emerging consciousness option

The morning/ evening was {beautiful}, {extraordinary}, {stunning}, {slow moving}, {serene}

A {glorious}, {red-orange}, {reluctant},{silver}, {golden}, sun/ moon arose/descended

{slowly}, {quickly}, {quietly},{anonymously} over/ under the horizon.


I {glanced}, {gazed}, {observed}, {witnessed}, {discovered} myself for just a moment

Ah, my own reflection from the {window pane}, {pond water}, {rear-view mirror}

And I don’t look so different from/ like the {orb}, {planet}, {celestial being} {planetary landmark}.


Now, I recognize our {harmony}, {oneness}, {unity}, {fragility}, {shared consciousness}

I am {hear now} {at peace} {content}, knowing this emerging reality

I am beyond being {humbled}, {supported}, (subdued} by this concept.


I am {one}, {all}, {love}, {light}

I am {awake}, {alive}, {free}

My heart is {full}, {light}, (emancipated}.

Deep River: Now RIP

Like a flash of light

Erupting laughter from within

A gift from above

Glowing for all hearts


But deep inside

There ran a river

Of muddy dark blood. loneliness

The dark side hidden from our vision


The light side would even joke

About the darkness within

But the suffering continued

A unbearable, unimaginable pain


And the river swelled it banks

Yearning to be saved by the light

But wallowing in it’s own sense of unseen

And he would hear it lapping at him from the shore


That dark muddy river would call to him

From time to time to time again

Lapping and crying out

Let me be seen, shine the light, set me free


Until one day those dark waters rose

They grew higher and higher

Engulfing all of the light from within him

Bringing him down into the darkness


And the only way out was through

So through he went and into darkness he dove

Dampening the last of his light on this earth

And breaking through to the unknown


For only here could find the end

To his struggle between light and dark

Only here, relief at last from the unending pain

And our loss, our grief now, became his opening to unity


So, we wish you farewell, a fond goodbye

Rest in peace deep muddy river

May we also remember your light

And shine it through our own unknown darkness.


Simple Song

Keep it simple

Or so they say

Keep it easy

It should be like play.


Sing it easy

Light, and full, and free

Let it go and go

They will all be able to see.


Keep it simple

So they can all sing along

Easy and simple

They will remember the song.


Feel it easy

One beat at a time

Moving on and forward

The melody is just fine.


Keep this song simple

Play it light and full and free

Keep this song easy

They will surely all be able to see.



The Orphan Inside

I am all grown up

Middle age, approaching the end of fertility

Wrinkles emerge daily

And yet, a sweet family of my own

Beautiful, smart, angel girls

My God am I blessed

A beautiful life!

And every now and then

The Orphan comes out

How did they leave me

Here on this planet alone

And I feel untethered

Not grounded

Angry and confused

Adrift in some abyss

What am I doing here now?

Shamefully, I think

I didn’t even like them that much

Those dysfunctional people

I left as soon as I could and I didn’t look back

Until now, and then again sometimes

People have been through so much worse

Horrendous and heinous losses

Wars disasters illnesses sudden losses trauma young people and babies dying

My loss, losing my mother, brother, and father over a few years time span

I was 38 when my mother passed, early 40’s when the rest left

It was nine long years ago when she passed

Alone in the ICU of a hospital 500 miles from me

My brother died alone in a prison cell

And my father passed in his bed, his second wife at his side and me miles and miles away

Laughingly I sometimes acknowledge my status as an adult orphan

A title I rejected, not legitimate, until I became one

I have no family of origin left,

No connection from where I emerged

And still I mourn for what could have been

For what never was

For the broken part of me

For the lack of healing at an earlier stage

When the possibility was real


Could you have just loved me, a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more?

Helped me to be able to trust the world?

Could  you have held onto me a little bit tighter?

And now, could I let go of this enduring grief long enough

To see clearly the healing  path behind and the path before me?

Feeling it deeply now



Let go.

Be what you are, deeply and truly:

Stardust, a child of father-mother-God, earth mother, healer, lover, creator of peace, a place for space.