Untethered

I was standing in the tower

In the place of the mountain

City by the beautiful bay

Looking out into the darkness

I was so untethered there

That all I could do was think of you

And dream you into my life.

The next day I ran

I ran and ran along the sea

Through the fog

And up to the crest of the 1000 foot mountain

Overlooking the churning deep blue sea.

I was afraid to go closer

Closer to the edge, because part of me was there already

Sitting on the edge of that high seaside mountain

Thinking of flying off, and not flying off.

To fly and really feel how untethered to this world I was

Or to sit back down on the earth

And go back to dreaming of a weight, weight to hold me here.

The depth of emptiness, loneliness at that time

Is hard, and yet not hard at all, to recall and I am not quite sure

What pulled me through, why I did not fly those days on the mountain

There must have been the dreams I still had

Of one day, a family, one day a tethering to this world.

For me it did come, the bracing to life, but it was a long journey back

One I still walk each day, as I examine the fragile tethering that holds me

And if you are felling untethered, I would like to say hold on

Healing is possible, reach out for this line

That I am tossing to you now

I will be your tether whenever, however I can

I’ll hold you in this space on earth.

 

 

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