Last night I cried
A river of tears streaming out
This I not why I signed up for
My stance would not redoubt.
I didn’t ask for war and hate
Ignorance, violence, and fear
I didn’t think I would face this place
Horror and pain, year after year.
I tell myself, I am not depressed
Just sick and tired of it all
I am not unwell
Just suffering from the fall.
Each little stream
Running down the lines of my face
Create a larger river
Running into that familiar place.
Crying me a deep dark river
Running out of tears
Crying me a deep dark river
Over days and into years.
Last night I cried
He said, I have no regrets
But when the time came to finally rest
He at last admitted
This life he had chosen was far from the best.
He was clearly broken
Not sound and not well
But he couldn’t divulge
All of the pain in his personal hell
None that he could admit anyway
No time to live another way…
Only time to live
He could regret another day
Only time to live
No regrets left now anyway.
A baby not meant to live
A toddler’s tiny body overcome with illness
A teen making the wrong choices
A man broken, fighting his addictions
A middle-age person, grieving his losses
An elder, lonely from the inside out
A child running out, unable to dodge the car
A parent striving to get their child the care they need
A mother saying goodbye to her babies
A man caught up in his own delusions
A person feeling never ending avarice
A life so shattered, the desire to end it grows
A fear so large that it consumes the mind
Anxiety felt deep within the gut
Spasms, tremors, constant pain
Fever so high that seizures happen
Withdrawing from addictive substances
No more answers, no more choices
It is the human condition
It is you, it is me
Listen to what the Buddha said
Attachment and aversion lead to suffering
Sit here now, close eyes, breathe
And accept the suffering.
The deadline has come and gone
The end of the month
The end of the challenge
The place where things come to wind down
The beginning of something new.
What will be your purpose in this new month?
To be kind and caring every day?
Meet the challenge of compassion toward all?
Finish the project rolling around on the floor?
Continue to live your poetry?
Regardless, it’s certainly over
Done, finished, complete
Whether you care or not,
It has ended
And something new shall emerge.
You want healing
Take just a little yoga now.
Feel the breath
Notice body, breath, spirit yoked together
Watch thoughts change.
Accept all of it:
The body today
The fear and pain today
The joy and pleasure today.
At the end of the hour
Notice the release
From stress, anxiety, fear, and pain
Walk into peace, ease, and grace
And thank all beings.
We rode out the mother’s storm
Winds howling, screeching
The house moaned and groaned
We, being so fearful of being swept away,
Cried and huddled together.
Another disaster to live through
With debris all around.
But the mother she knows
She counts the toll of each indiscretion
And with every new storm
She sends the message with a roar,
Not a whisper:
Now is the time my children
To end my destruction
I am more powerful
And I care not just for thee
I care for all beings
I will do whatever it takes
To wake you up
To love, peace, nature, and mystery.
If you neglect my call
The price to pay
Will be far too great to fathom.
For I am
The power of the blue planet
And the stardust from whence you came.
I am Gaia.
Wake now my children.
Notice this moment,
And the next,
See how everything changes
All is impermanent.
Though we trembled and quaked
We soon forgot, at least
Until the next rumblings of the earth.
It was a normal morning
I walked outside with my fresh hot coffee
And for 5 seconds
I saw it all…
The boy opening his cigarette package
Hands shaking, so young
The man getting out of his car
The cars whizzing by on the road.
Illusions floating by
Realities soon to change
A glitch in the matrix.
And I thought…
What did I just see, truth?
How did the veil flutter aside
For just a few seconds.
It’s gone now
But I keep thinking, yes
I will be in that moment again
One day, one night, soon.
I had some good poems
They were written in my head
I awoke in the morning
Only to find the poems were quite dead.
I frowned down upon them
And sadly shook my head,
You naughty little things
How could you show up so very dead?
They still wouldn’t budge, not even a bit
Crying, sighing, they still remained dead
So I stopped what I was doing
And to the light I lifted my head.
“Forgive me great universe
These ones wound up being dead”
I prayed over and over again
A chant forming in my head.
And then I let them go
Farewell poems leaving space inside my head
Searching for those new kind words
Having finally let go of you, dear departed dead.
She was feeling alone and lost
Her mind wandering all around
She looked to the North Star
Seeking to be found.
Gazing up, she sensed a presence
Through the stardust in her eyes
She sunk down, and she fell beyond
Still staring into deep ink skies.
The feeling started low and deep
Crawling slowly up her spine
Reaching her mind with a thundering crash
When an ineffable love began to shine.
It happened in only a moment,
It took place with one long breath
Now she shines on brightly
No fear of pain, loss, or death.
Look to the North Star
Let your heart and soul loose to roam
Regain your way through stardust
Soon you will be back home.
When the loss is so great
And your heart feels beyond heavy
Saturated with grief and pain
Don’t run and hide in the fear
Rather open up completely
Let the grief swallow you whole
Let the pain tear you apart, bit by bit
Remolding your core of being
For when you open up to
The free falling dark abyss of grief
You will walk through that dark, fire-y, painful night
You will stumble and fall
You will ache and hurt
You will shudder and cry out
And you will carry on, forward marching
And emerge anew
On another side of this universe
Filled with peace, ease, love, and light.
So go now, and take all of your braveness
All of your love that you once knew for this precious lost soul
And allow it to propel you forward
Taking the hand of those who are likewise suffering
Together, you can scream through that dark abyss
Shed rivers of tears on the burning path
Rake your soul over the flames of death
And at last come to calm those fires
With your own healing river of tears
Be brave dear souls
And walk into that promise
Of a light filled peace
Emerging beyond the abyss.