Gazing

I gaze at her online pictures

A long time ago, we were friends

We ran together, she was a twin

She was a joy to be around, so much fun and so sweet.

In this picture, she looks like her mom, her profile is so stunning

In the next one, she looks like her dad, with the strong jaw and large smile

And in the last one, her daughter looks just like her twin sister at that age.

All I can do is lurk

For she won’t have me

I requested her to be my friend again

And why would she want me,

When I wrote all of the wrong things to her

So very long ago.

We had the same coach

I know he hurt us both

And it’s not just what he did then

It’s the fact that his actions somehow separated us forever.

She is still beautiful

I hope she is happy

All I can do is gaze

And dream that we are friends again.

 

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She writes

She writes about her dreams

Of fleet feet and flying fantasy

Winning it all

Her dreams precede her

Into the dark of night

Where the stars seem nearly attainable

Though hidden within a blanket of wildfire smoke

Her dreams lift her spirit

To that place where true Soul flies free

Everything is possible

The surreal becomes palpable

Ethereal emerges, an effable reality

She dreams

Time melts like Dali’s clocks

Thoughts spinning realities

Carried away again

Riding on the coattails of the imagined

She may get lost or not found

Dreaming her small life away

 

Suffering

A baby not meant to live

A toddler’s tiny body overcome with illness

A teen making the wrong choices

A man broken, fighting his addictions

A middle-age person, grieving his losses

An elder, lonely from the inside out

Suffering….

A child running out, unable to dodge the car

A parent striving to get their child the care they need

A mother saying goodbye to her babies

A man caught up in his own delusions

A person feeling never ending avarice

A life so shattered, the desire to end it grows

Suffering….

A fear so large that it consumes the mind

Anxiety felt deep within the gut

Spasms, tremors, constant pain

Fever so high that seizures happen

Withdrawing from addictive substances

No more answers, no more choices

Suffering….

It is the human condition

It is you, it is me

Listen to what the Buddha said

Attachment and aversion lead to suffering

Sit here now, close eyes, breathe

And accept the suffering.

Suffering….

 

 

 

 

 

This Is Life

“This Is Life!” they said,

I sighed, rolled over

And continued to play dead.

*

Yet it rang in my ears

“But you can’t ignore it”, they said

I looked around and brushed away my fears.

*

I took a deep breath

And I yelled aloud

“This ain’t my life! If so I prefer Death!”

*

“Hmmmmph, well that ain’t right”

They whispered back

“But go ahead, walk into the light”.

*

So, I did: I leapt and I fell

Crawling into the light

Phew…heaven and not hell.

*

It should be the end of the story

However it wasn’t

I continue to rise, filled with glory.

*

“Told you” they said

Hmmm, maybe they were right

I am better off not dead.

 

 

Lotus & Dragonfly

Both mired in the muck, the mud
Immersed so deeply in the darkness
They journey alongside one another
Striving, healing, rising
Ever arising.
*
Lotus rises first
Green emerging
Flat leaves, broad and sturdy
Shading pond below
Silently growing, transforming.
*


*
Alongside lotus, dragonfly nymph
Slowly climbing out of muck
Arise above mud, and climb green reed
Pause…
Next, emergence.
*

*
Lotus flower grows tall
Dragonfly nymph wriggles
Both work, both venture
A world unknown
A new life.
*
Lotus flower slowly blossoms
Emerging in sunlight
Drinking in warmth
Closing upon darkness
Always protected.
*
Dragonfly pauses
Patiently waiting, drying
Growing stronger through sitting
Little movement
Preparing for flight.
*
Lotus, Dragonfly
Lessons to learn
Arise, arise, and arise above
The depths of darkness
From whence they came.

Illusions

It was a normal morning
I walked outside with my fresh hot coffee
And for 5 seconds
I saw it all…

The boy opening his cigarette package
Hands shaking, so young
The man getting out of his car
The cars whizzing by on the road.

All temporary
Illusions floating by
Realities soon to change
A glitch in the matrix.

And I thought…
What did I just see, truth?
How did the veil flutter aside
For just a few seconds.

It’s gone now
But I keep thinking, yes
I will be in that moment again
One day, one night, soon.

Keep Your Silence

They noticed me
And rushed over
Only to screech out
Far too loudly
Shhhusshhh now
Step down and go away
You must keep your silence to yourself.
*
Your silence is breaking us
It is its own form of protest
So you must tuck it in
To that crevice in your brain
Where little else matters.
*
But…but…I like my silence
It gives me refuge
And peace
Comfort and light flow through my silence
Can’t you see my spirit when I am silent?
Breathing, moving yet unmoving
I smile when I am silent.
*
Keep it, your silence
There is no space for it here, now
There is no time or taste for such things
There is only time to speak up
To shout loudly
To roll in anger, confusion, righteousness, and despair.
*
Yet, when I am silent it creates even more space
For something new to emerge
Great healing, great love
And others’ songs can come through
When I am silent
A new time emerges, as the old slips by.
*
No, they answered
The silence is too scary, too unknown
We can’t tell what you are really thinking
When there’s too much space, and openness
Anything might leak through
And come crashing out like a
Sonic boom to the heart.
*
Oh, I say
And I shut my eyes
Returning again and again
To this moment
This breath
This crushing power of silence.