In Dreams

I had a dream… or two…

In the first one we were flying

Not gloriously, like fine eagles in the sky

But laboriously, waiting in lines

Running through airports

Not getting the right seat

Landing in the middle of the road in strange cities.

Flying north when we wanted to go southwest.

Finally we get there, and I see my long-gone mother

She is radiant and young and happy

But too soon we must fly away again

Caught in all of the trappings of flying.

And then, oh, then, the dreams get strange.. and back to normal again

Children falling away, down and far away.

Your running away, now hidden in darkening shadows

I can’t find you

My heart is breaking into 300 million pieces.

Getting drunk when I haven’t drank in 6 years

Mysterious people recognizing my glow

New lives emerging

Warm sandy beaches

Food like I have never known before.

I finally wake up, and I almost pinch myself

I cry…

….and shake

….and feel my heart thumping in my chest.

Where am I now, why am I now…?

Just please don’t float away yet

Stay here in my memory

So I don’t forget you

The lessons, your wisdom, your beauty.

Stay dream, stay…

 

 

Why Don’t You?

Why don’t you sit by the fire

Put your feet up

Sip some tea

And color in your coloring book?

*

You need these moments to renew,

To revive your weary mind

To be here right now

And let go of what should be left behind.

*

Why don’t you breathe in

This very moment… and the next and the next

As you stretch up from your yoga mat

Reaching for the stars in the heavens.

*

You need to feel your body here

Noticing each breath and pause

Caring for the aches and pains

And embracing your human strength and limitations.

*

Why don’t you just notice

The little beings surrounding you

Children, cats, dogs, even the house mice

Vying for your eyes upon them.

*

Waking up, noticing, being here now

Will repair your brain circuits

Supporting healing from the trauma

That everyday stress brings to you.

*

Why don’t you just be

Relax, revive, regenerate, renew your soul- being

Breathe, live in this moment, let go…

Why don’t you?

 

Twinges of cold: The door to Winter

Cold wind bites through soft layers

Briskness touching the human core

This is the beginning

Ahead the promised fading toward more

~

Cold days of frost and dim light

Wintery glittering nights of snow

We think of what may be ahead of us

Yet, we have yet to learn and know

~

Can we find ways to bring joy

Peace, and ease without light

Can we remember our own humanity

To brighten up the long winter’s night?

~

Let us welcome the challenge

And swing wide open winter’s door

Let us be thankful, show gratitude

And make this season worth more

I should be

I should be writing, I think

Instead I am just sitting here

Stumbling, grumbling, grasping

Fighting with the words

That keep getting stuck

in the nooks and crannies of my head.

@&*%^

I should be singing

With a full heart and voice

Sending it out

Across the Universe

For you to sing too

Instead I sit quietly

A burning lump in my throat

@$%^@

I should be running

Faster and stronger

Moving from here to there and back

Again, repeat, again

Meanwhile I lay perfectly still

staring at the icicles

Dripping and losing themselves

+@#$%

Something in me wiggles and writhes about

This is not right to do just nothing

To be bored and restless

Find a focus, something urges

Do something, get busy

Grade these papers, edit that paper

Write this poem

@+&*(

Or go somehwere

Get in your car and go somewhere

Shopping, movie, food, coffee, clothes, shoes

Yoga, gym, hiking, skiing, therapy, bodywork, library

Anything, just get out and go

Here or there or wherever

*&%^$

Or meditate, yes that is it!

Go deep and feel it

Oh yes, that came from here and this from there

And I can feel it there, and here, and over there

What a crazy little monkey mind you have there

And oh yes, write about it

Journal it all up and tie it with a bow

+(*&^

Just do something

The mind propels, compels, active and wild,

Bored and restless and angry

You can’t just sit there

Curled up on the couch like that

Under how many cuddly blankets

Napping like some middle aged loser baby

@*&$

Don’t just be

Don’t just rest

Don’t just sit there

This is it, just today

Remember all of those other days you just sat there?

+_$%^

I should be….

 

 

 

 

 

I just knew

I woke up in the dark

And in a sleep -filled haze

The image and the feeling

They grew into me and ….

I knew

~

I suddenly had realized

How all things work together

How the yin comes to meet the yang

How the good mixes with the evil

I got it all, and I knew

~

I saw it as the ying and the yang

But instead of white,black, grey

It was white and purple and blue

I breathed it all in on one breath

And I knew

~

I knew great comfort in this perception

And I knew an answer of sorts

How the pain leads to healing

The light shines into the dark

I now knew

~

I knew I could remember

The feeling of knowing was so deep

And so real, I was floating with it

I was it, in every cell; complete

And I wish for you to know too.

Gratitude

I wake and the stars shine brightly down upon me

Repeating their patterns again and again

Twinkling their mysterious lights

I am awake and thankful

~

And soon, the sun follows

Chasing the stars far away with her glow

A sherbet colored rising in the sky, shifting from pink to bright yellow

I am awake and full of gratitude

~

The sun slides across the sky

Following her well-worn paths again and again

Her shifts so imperceptable

Yet each day the pattern is new, even if only slightly so

~

I am awake and full of gratitude

As she slides toward the Western horizon

Reminding me of what was left behind

As the sky flares pinks and reds in her wake

~

Grateful for the stars emerging again

Another day to live, love, grow

Falling into ease and presence of the now

Slipping gently into the softness of the bed

~

Gratitude and thankfulness

Moving through every cell

Radiating out to others

I am asleep and thankful

Savassana

We start the class

The teacher asks about everybody’s body

We hear about neck, shoulders, low back

Again and again

We repeat our bodily issues

~

I am the last

My turn, Finally

My neck, shoulders mid-back, low-back hurt too

But instead I tell my best yoga joke

“I am just here for Savasana!”

Laughter to start the class

I do love Savasana

~

It is yoga

It is yin yoga

It is resting into discomfort

Finding a way to not go to the edge

and yet sit with discomfort

A way to create Ease

~

There are favorite poses

And not so favorite poses

Part of me wants to push and go deeper than need be

And  part of me wants to rest, not work so hard

I want Savasana now

~

Savasana- The Corpse Pose

Time to practice dying

In the moment

To the moment

Melting back into the earth

From whence we came

~

That is why I am here

To practice Savasana

Being here now

Dying again and again

Back to the earth, back to mother-father God

~

The hour stretches on

I am a pretzel

And then there is Savasana

She comes to me

And she says, “let somebody help you”

And she covers me gently

an eye pillow placed to support my head

~

And I feel the tears well up

I need to let others help

I need to let go

And it is so hard

I miss my mommy

I cry a little for the missing of the original mother

~

And I, we have our Savasana

A time to heal and rest

While the world outside spins and spins some more

Busy people, getting to somewhere or nowhere

They are happy or sad or numb

Loud cars, horns toot

And we rest here on this wooden floor

In the light filled, safe place

~

We melt, we become the one with the One

Savasana leading to the ultimate Namaste

Savasana leading us from death to awakening

To recognition

Of the greater One within all

~

Savasana.

It is all I am here for anyway.