Rivers

Last night I cried
A river of tears streaming out
This I not why I signed up for
My stance would not redoubt.
~
I didn’t ask for war and hate
Ignorance, violence, and fear
I didn’t think I would face this place
Horror and pain, year after year.
~
I tell myself, I am not depressed
Just sick and tired of it all
I am not unwell
Just suffering from the fall.
~
Each little stream
Running down the lines of my face
Create a larger river
Running into that familiar place.
~
Crying me a deep dark river
Running out of tears
Crying me a deep dark river
Over days and into years.

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I don’t want

*
I don’t want
this time to slip by
While you posture and postulate.
*
I don’t want
to feel this way
Full of anger, and full of hate.
*
And there you are
Saying women delay telling
And therefore it must be a lie.
*
I don’t want to tell my story
‘Cause you don’t believe hers
Far too often, all I did was cry.
*
I am done, I won’t cry anymore
Out of fear and out of agony
I will cry out the anger, again.
*
The world don’t need
Your same old thing
Spewing out, like a never ending rain.
*
I don’t want to remind you
What you say matters
There will be consequences
*
I don’t want to divide us
Yet, too much suffering
It’s building dividing fences.

 

Small Victory

It’s the end of the day

Children rush to shower

And eat dessert

Wind howls and rain pours forth

I can look back today

And be thankful

For that one moment

That small victory

Where I noticed my reaction

Where I breathed into space

When I gently guided

Instead of reacting fiercely

I left behind the familiar cloak

Of tattered old anger

I breathed and noticed

Putting to use those

Hundreds of hours of meditation

May I be so blessed

To try again tomorrow for just

One moment

One small victory of being.

The long day

A hot day, high humidity, sticky feeling everywhere.

So much to do,the first day of school for us all!

Make lunches, off to school, answer emails, check classes, make videos, meetings, pick up children, meetings, dinner…

And of course the need to make time for the self

To just breathe and chant alone inside

Listen to the crickets, frogs, birds singing their last few songs of summer….

Stop and listen, breathe, and move the body

If it is not enough, or if is still just too much

Too much to do, too much to be, too much anger, too much of too much

Then let it go, sailing out into the newly dark night

And try again tomorrow, a new start of a new start.