Star Journey

I took a sip and blew of my head
Rolled around on the ground
Left my body for dead.
*
I flew past the moon
Burned by a few stars
Seeking what was coming soon.
*
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True brightness, the greatest of lights
And it beckoned me, step in
One way only, no exit in sight.
*
I leapt right into the light that was you
Watched your death once more,
Finally you rose, and together we flew.
*
We melted like one in time and space
Unified beings, all are here
No need for the never ending race.
*
A million years later, back home we came
Past those stars, that glittering moon
Life will never be the same.
*
Don’t forget; we are still liquescent
Melting together, like stars into moon
All good, all beings, all love heaven sent.
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Let Go

I had some good poems
They were written in my head
I awoke in the morning
Only to find the poems were quite dead.
*
I frowned down upon them
And sadly shook my head,
You naughty little things
How could you show up so very dead?
*
They still wouldn’t budge, not even a bit
Crying, sighing, they still remained dead
So I stopped what I was doing
And to the light I lifted my head.
*
“Forgive me great universe
These ones wound up being dead”
I prayed over and over again
A chant forming in my head.

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(google images)

*
And then I let them go
Farewell poems leaving space inside my head
Searching for those new kind words
Having finally let go of you, dear departed dead.

Lost & Found

She was feeling alone and lost

Her mind wandering all around

She looked to the North Star

Seeking to be found.

*

Gazing up, she sensed a presence

Through the stardust in her eyes

She sunk down, and she fell beyond

Still staring into deep ink skies.

*

The feeling started low and deep

Crawling slowly up her spine

Reaching her mind with a thundering crash

When an ineffable love began to shine.

*

It happened in only a moment,

It took place with one long breath

Now she shines on brightly

No fear of pain, loss, or death.

*

Look to the North Star

Let your heart and soul loose to roam

Regain your way through stardust

Soon you will be back home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even When

Even when things may seem not quite right

The spirit is moving within and through

Culling all the scattered pieces together

Creating a new and emerging you.

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Even when the deep rage bubbles up inside

And you can feel it coursing through the body

The spirit is continually working small miracles

Your own light filled guide is overseeing.

~

Even then, and even right here and now

However dark you might be feeling

A new, greater order is emerging

With the infinite potential for healing.

~

Even when you think, this will never pass

Slow down for a moment, and than the next

Trusting right here and now,

Know the spirit’s healing annex.

 

 

This is…

This is me, a baby crying in a crib

One night, all night…

It’s just a story, but somehow I remember

This is you, so relieved when it stops

I never cried out for you again.

*

This is me sitting in the dark space of my bedroom, after I called to see when you would be home

Counting minutes, 5:30, 5:31… 6:00 and you are not home

This is you, not knowing I was counting

Not knowing that 30 minutes of loneliness is just too many minutes.

*

This is you, going through great pain

And not knowing which direction to take

This is me, watching the family fall apart

And saying it was all okay with me

When the universe flung us away from each other, a family crumbling to pieces.

*

This is you, living a sort of new life

A new family, a new way of being in the world

This is me, coming home on weekends

Torn between an independent 15 year old’s life

And still wanting a family.

*

This is me, taking things too far

Dangerous behaviors in search of love

This is you, not answering my phone calls

Days, weeks without connecting

Not knowing if I remain in this world or somewhere else.

*

This is me, making myself sick, over and over again

Hopeless and anxious about the future

This is you, telling me to figure out

How hard can it be to take a bus somewhere and get help

For a deadly illness.

*

This is you coming back closer to me

Making amends

Trying to be the person I needed in that moment

This is me struggling to balance it all

Teetering on the edge.

*

This is you, saying goodbye to me

Who knew these would be the last real words face-face

This is me, running and pulling up my roots

Looking for someway out of the mess of the moment.

*

This is me, trying to connect with you

Phone calls unreturned

This is you, disowning me for an error not of making

Both of us preferring to not do the work to bring us back together.

*

This is me during our last phone call

Where I tell you I am pregnant and I want you in our lives

This is you two weeks later, on a ventilator

When the hospital calls to say your story is ending

And in minutes you take your last breath.

*

This is us, our last moments together in a physical space

Your body is already cold and your spirit has gone

See, yes, this is you

Flying away from me again, up to the heavens where you belong.

 

 

Why Don’t You?

Why don’t you sit by the fire

Put your feet up

Sip some tea

And color in your coloring book?

*

You need these moments to renew,

To revive your weary mind

To be here right now

And let go of what should be left behind.

*

Why don’t you breathe in

This very moment… and the next and the next

As you stretch up from your yoga mat

Reaching for the stars in the heavens.

*

You need to feel your body here

Noticing each breath and pause

Caring for the aches and pains

And embracing your human strength and limitations.

*

Why don’t you just notice

The little beings surrounding you

Children, cats, dogs, even the house mice

Vying for your eyes upon them.

*

Waking up, noticing, being here now

Will repair your brain circuits

Supporting healing from the trauma

That everyday stress brings to you.

*

Why don’t you just be

Relax, revive, regenerate, renew your soul- being

Breathe, live in this moment, let go…

Why don’t you?

 

Counting Blessings

I sit and count

One blessing after another

So many reasons to be grateful

For this moment right here and now.

Today I saw two single rouge snowflakes

It was supposed to rain

And yet God knows I love snow…

He must have sent me the flake as silent sign of hope.

Tonight I will drive home safely

In my warm car

And arrive in time to kiss two beautiful girls goodnight

My heart will be filled with love and gratitude.

I never thought this dream was possible

And yet here it is, day after day

This beautiful life unfolding

Blessings and gratitude building upon each other

Day after day after….