Doors

Let me back in

How do I get back in

He is on one knee

Holding her hand

Begging, crying

~

I don’t know she says

The door is stuck shut

It melded there

From the heat of my despair

From the warmth of one million tears

~

He knows now the harm

That he has pressed into her soul

The pain that has sealed the door shut

The violence he did not mean to harm her

And he throws himself against the door

~

Again and again

He pounds on the stuck iron

That protects her heart

That keeps her safe

And he eventually realizes

~

He realizes that he created it

The immovable door

The heavy protection around her heart

And now he must search

For a key to unhinge the lock, to swing open the door.

~

Or he must find his way back

Spend his lifetime slowly picking away

At the door with a heartfelt love

Until the metal wears thin

As thin as a veil

~

And the veil is swept away

The lovers meet again

Bound by the heart

Strengthened by the healing

Held together as one.

 

 

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No Regrets

He said, I have no regrets

But when the time came to finally rest

He at last admitted

This life he had chosen was far from the best.

~

He was clearly broken

Not sound and not well

But he couldn’t divulge

All of the pain in his personal hell

~

Yes was broken,
 
And he couldn’t figure out why
 
He had to go on living 
 
‘Cause there was no time left to die. 

~

No regrets

None that he could admit anyway

No regrets

No time to live another way…

~

Only time to live

He could regret another day

Only time to live

No regrets left now anyway.

Cherish and the Silver Box of Love

She took her love, such a precious gift

And she carefully wrapped it in fine silk,

covered it in lace,

tied it with a pretty purple bow.

Gingerly, she laid her love in the silver box

And handed it over to her beloved.

Her beloved at first embraced the gift

Displayed it for all to see, the shiny silver box, in the place of cherish.

Eventually the silver box grew older

And beloved grew ever so tired

Of remembering to return to the place of chreish

And care for the exquisite gift of love.

The silver box of love was slowly buried

Under the heavy weight of years’ old anger, fear, and rejection.

The giver of the box grew old and tired and herself.

One day she really woke up, seeing deeply in the mirror

The silver streaks in her hair and wrinkles cascading her face

Warning her that this lifetime was short.

There was a small yearning inside of herself

And she found herself in the place of cherish.

She began to slowly dig through the weight that was burying the silver box

She used her strengths of love, of compassion, of caring

And grain by grain, she unearthed the box once more.

Though the box was nearly broken from the weight it had withstood

Inside the tarnished silver covering

She found the beautiful purple bow

The still white lace

The soft silk protective cover.

And love was still alive there

Not worn or tarnished

But as pristine and unconditional as the day

She had decided to give it away.

She returned to her beloved and said

Look what I have unearthed, from the place of cherish

And they cried with delight

To know that no matter the weight of the pain

Love somehow lived on and on.

Untethered

I was standing in the tower

In the place of the mountain

City by the beautiful bay

Looking out into the darkness

I was so untethered there

That all I could do was think of you

And dream you into my life.

The next day I ran

I ran and ran along the sea

Through the fog

And up to the crest of the 1000 foot mountain

Overlooking the churning deep blue sea.

I was afraid to go closer

Closer to the edge, because part of me was there already

Sitting on the edge of that high seaside mountain

Thinking of flying off, and not flying off.

To fly and really feel how untethered to this world I was

Or to sit back down on the earth

And go back to dreaming of a weight, weight to hold me here.

The depth of emptiness, loneliness at that time

Is hard, and yet not hard at all, to recall and I am not quite sure

What pulled me through, why I did not fly those days on the mountain

There must have been the dreams I still had

Of one day, a family, one day a tethering to this world.

For me it did come, the bracing to life, but it was a long journey back

One I still walk each day, as I examine the fragile tethering that holds me

And if you are felling untethered, I would like to say hold on

Healing is possible, reach out for this line

That I am tossing to you now

I will be your tether whenever, however I can

I’ll hold you in this space on earth.

 

 

Lost Poems

All day long

Poem, after poem, after poem

Went running through my head

Like too many little joggers

Running a never ending marathon.

Perfect I thought, I won’t forget that!

Beautiful I murmured as the poem picture emerged in my head.

Wow, I breathed, that one is a winner!

And then ..poof…oh, no

I forgot them all

As good as dust in the wind as

My brain released them back to the universe.

So maybe you will catch one of those poems

A free flying consciousness in the universe

Hopefully you will wrap it up prettily in writing

And secure it with a tight and shiny ribbon

Then I will wonder, why does this sound so familiar?

Of course, it is because it flowed through me too

And I will thank you and practice gratitude

For your catching all of the ones

That flew into and out of my head so quickly

And I will love how you evolved them

Such magic they were then, and such magic they will be again.