So simple

In this warm house

I give thanks today

For the very simple things

Which have come my way.

~

A warm fire crackles

As drizzle melts icy snow

The aroma of many foods cooking

These simple things I know.

~

I open my heart with love

And let the light shine in on us

I recognize with great gratitude

All we need not now discuss.

~

The challenge is now to keep coming back

To these simple things that matter

For when suffering barges in

The heart like glass may shatter.

~

So I shall return again, again, again

To a space of gratitude and love

And recognize all simple blessings

Bestowed from high above.

 

 

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On the mat

I come to the mat today
And I think, today I won’t cry
I’ll be happy and free
But I grab a tissue anyway.

I should not judge myself
For the seemingly bottomless depths
Of loss and grief
And yet I think, by now I should be healed.

But the heart does not know this
So it aches and aches and aches
The eyes don’t know they should be dry
After years of tears and tears and tears.

On this mat this morning, it is a safe place
A warm place where in warrior two my lips can quiver
In dancing warrior I can release the pain toward heaven
And in child’s pose I can nurture the lonely child within.

My plan is to come back here
Again, again, and over again
Until I take that last healing breath
Stepping of the mat, and into the light.

Into the light

I stepped into a foreign place

And I faltered a bit

Looking forĀ  a warm embrace.

Slowly he guided me

“Be still listen to the music”

Whatever will be, will be.

Slowly I moved, circling left then right

I gained courage to take the chance

I stepped into the brightest of light.

It was so very brilliant, truly blazing

I met the sacred ones there

The pure love they shared was amazing.

The ancestors, they whispered me to love and let go

All is well, dear one,

You know everything you need to know.

When I emerged from this excursion

I knew that I was ready for change

A new love arising form the immersion.

Now you will see, from within me,

The eternal light that is emerging

This is what will be, and be, and be.

Yin and Yang

It may sound confusing to some

But in each and every-thing, every holon

There to resides the opposite.

Chaos is perfect in its imperfect patterns

In my goodness, I harbor a shadow-side

In each breath I may pause and wait, un-breathing makes way for breathing

Suffering harbors the potential for growth and healing

Death makes room for new life.

Duality prevails:

Male-Female

Night moves into Day

Sun shines brightly Moon more lightly

Negative makes way for Positive

Winter brings longing for summer

Sunny days energize, Rainy days retreat

Land is the solid beneath us, Sea floats us to new realms

Fire burns away impurity, Water for all living beings

Pain and aches make way for Pleasure and healing

Clean becomes dirty again, clean again, dirty again….

Yet, there are no absolutes, as we swing along yin-yang continuums

Moving beyond dualism, and toward a holonic universe understanding.

Everything is constantly changing and yet everything also seeks a balance, an equilibrium.

One relies on the other for it’s very existence, interdependence, recognizing the yin-yang potential, is the key.

So Hum, I am

I sit in meditation

Following words of inspiration

I turn to the breath, like the Buddha did

And in this moment

I am crying

Sobs rack my body

Lump in the throat

Tears stream from the eyes, run down cheeks

Nose drips

Heart aches around the breath

How to keep breathing through this

This pain of life

I breathe, I sob, I cry

Is this meditation?

Of grief?

Aum Shanti

Cry, breathe, meditate, notice

Then a few breaths of peace

The sobs dissipate

So Hum

I am this pain, this peace

Aum Shanti

All together in one

So Hum

Breath moving in and out

Sounds swirling around, a storm outside

Children awaken inside

Aum Shanti

Breathe, notice, return

And again I cry and sob

Breathe

Aching around the pain and the love

I am both suffering and not suffering

I am in peace and I am in pain

Moment to moment I shift

I am this

I am this

and I am this too

So hum.