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gratitude, happiness, healing, meditation, peace, philosophy, poetry, spirituality, Uncategorized, writing, yoga

Morning ritual

Aside | Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

The sun came up

And she closed her eyes

Ignoring the growing light

And color of the skies

~

The sun rose higher

And with eyes closed tight

She woke up inside

To her own ease and light

~

Repeating and returning

Mind wanders across internal sky

Watch the clouds floating over

She is preparing to live and die

~

It’s the morning ritual

And so much more

It’s the opening of the self

Revealing of the cosmic core.

~

Good morning ritual

Her own life lay from within it grew

Letting go of past and future

Awakening through and through

We need a world of peace

Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

We need a world of peace

Of connection

Of understanding that

We are one

~

We need a world of love

Where people reach out

To one another

With full and open hearts

~

Everybody must be taught

To acknowledge the differences

Release the sufering

Accept life deeply

~

We need God’s love

Open your heart

Feel it here now

Full of healing light

~

We have the capacity

For this love and light filled world

Surround us in the light

Fill this world with peace.

~

Boston, April 15, 2012.

Eagle or

Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

I thought it was an eagle

At first

Grandly flying by

Oh, wait …

~

Look harder now

See what I can see

Maybe it’s just a gull

Betraying of my eyes

~

Breathe and notice

The river gone out to sea

The blue, blue sky

The fading of the day

~

She flies by again

Graceful and giant

Huge wing span

Oh, Osprey

~

So clear now

And I can let go

Let go of desire for eagle

And embrace the osprey

Farewell for now

Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

I look at you

Laying there on the worn green couch

And I am filled with contempt

For you and you alone

~

You are worn and stained

Old and shabby

Though you have only been through 2 seasons

You may be useless in the near future

~

So pretty and purple

Not that long ago

And now you weigh me down heavily

You are simply too much

~

Too much for the sunshine emerging

The green returning

The birds soon chirping

Changing of the seasons

~

You get to go away now

Go back to the attic

Folded into a pile

Stinking of moth balls

~

Perhaps you will be replaced

next year maybe

But for now you can rest

folding in on yourself

~

Farewell my winter friend

Purple, stained, and warm

Farewell for now

Purple down coat

 

 

I am on fire

Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

Fire

It is burning me up

Synapses firing

On Fire

~

Quench it

Calm it

Slow it down

Fire

~

Feel it flowing through

Feels Good

Lighting up dendrites

On Fire

~

Let’s be on fire

Hot stuff

Minds spinning out

Burning up

~

Fire burning bright

Quench it

Or feed it

Feel it

~

Fire burning

Creates a new path

Fire warms

Grow the Fire

~

Feel the power

Take the challenge

Transform the power

Feel the fire

~

I Miss You Golden Shores

Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

The light, the air

Golden ray of sunshine

Still I left and ran fast

Searching for what was mine

~

A golden oak, splashing sea

The greenest of the green

Melting in my mind

That long-lost childhood scene

~

That golden land of promise

She whispers out my name

Hearing it from another shore

Missing her all the same

~

A soft breeze

Cooling, too much warmth

The sun she radiates to me

Singing to me, calling me forth.

~

Land of big dreams

Of  light, of love, and of loss

Back-forth, up-down,

Throw my heart back with a toss.

 

 

 

Frozen Land

Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

I woke up and I was here

In the cold and frozen land

And I wondered

How did this happen?

*

I woke up from the dream

And I thought

Wasn’t I just over there

Just a moment or a breath ago?

*

How did I make it all of the way

Over here from over there?

In just a moment

In such a quick flash of time?

*

Did God just pick me up?

And move me over here?

Was I just a pawn

In the universal chess game?

*

It seems strange to be awake

And be all of the way

Over here and not over there

How did that happen?

*

Over here, over there

I want to go back

And I want move forward

And I am standing still

*

Right here  in this place

Though I have no idea how I got here

And what I am doing here

In this frozen land.

*

I should be

Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

I should be writing, I think

Instead I am just sitting here

Stumbling, grumbling, grasping

Fighting with the words

That keep getting stuck

in the nooks and crannies of my head.

@&*%^

I should be singing

With a full heart and voice

Sending it out

Across the Universe

For you to sing too

Instead I sit quietly

A burning lump in my throat

@$%^@

I should be running

Faster and stronger

Moving from here to there and back

Again, repeat, again

Meanwhile I lay perfectly still

staring at the icicles

Dripping and losing themselves

+@#$%

Something in me wiggles and writhes about

This is not right to do just nothing

To be bored and restless

Find a focus, something urges

Do something, get busy

Grade these papers, edit that paper

Write this poem

@+&*(

Or go somehwere

Get in your car and go somewhere

Shopping, movie, food, coffee, clothes, shoes

Yoga, gym, hiking, skiing, therapy, bodywork, library

Anything, just get out and go

Here or there or wherever

*&%^$

Or meditate, yes that is it!

Go deep and feel it

Oh yes, that came from here and this from there

And I can feel it there, and here, and over there

What a crazy little monkey mind you have there

And oh yes, write about it

Journal it all up and tie it with a bow

+(*&^

Just do something

The mind propels, compels, active and wild,

Bored and restless and angry

You can’t just sit there

Curled up on the couch like that

Under how many cuddly blankets

Napping like some middle aged loser baby

@*&$

Don’t just be

Don’t just rest

Don’t just sit there

This is it, just today

Remember all of those other days you just sat there?

+_$%^

I should be….

 

 

 

 

 

The picture

Posted on by Carey S. Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT, FAAN

Laying in bed

A vision comes to me

My mother

standing in a bikini

~

She is not at the beach or by the pool

She is in the house

Standing by her bedroom double doors

Frowning at the camera

~

The bikini is red, white, blue

Stars and stripes forever

It may be 1976, the 200th Us birthday

She frowns at the camera

~

My father took the picture

and in the days before photoshop

He sculpted her body

With a black pen

~

He marked out the extra weight around her abdomen

Black pens marks on her arms and thighs

Scars on the picture

Reflect her suffering from her imperfections

~

She was not morbidly obese,

barely overweight, 5’6″, 140-150 pounds

And yet it was not what he wanted

So he chose to mark her up

~

Years later, a similar set of pictures

Pictures of my brother before his death

Shorts and overweight, Father encouraged him

Go off the medications, lose weight

~

Mother suffered from this critical eye

Brother dies, off his medications

And me, I shrink away because of this scarring

Fearing the marks, the shame, the fat, the padding

~

The difference is that it is easier for me

I do not hunger the same way

I love to work out and move my body

I care for my health

~

And yet I know somehow, I have been marked

The black ink fading onto me

Staining my body

Scratching my picture.

~

Call it epi-genetics

I can feel those scars across the family

The shame, the frowns, the disgust

The fear, the pain,  captured in the picture.