Holding On, Sailing Away

Last night

All of the lights went out

And I felt the power of the mother

Rising up and holding me.

Just by candle light

I could feel her there with me.

It’s not time yet….

She held me closer

She was not ready to let me go

She was holding me here

Right … here.

And that was okay

For now, for today

But I can feel myself edging, edging

On the brink of the new

For one day, she will let me go

And we will both sail onward

To the next chapter.

 

A Dusting of Winter

A dusting of white snow

Falls from the sky

And covers this world

In a beautiful quiet sugar coating

Crystals, clear, white, purity.

A chance now to settle down

Into some winter healing

Playing, resting, cuddling

Yoga before sudden snow squalls

And naps in front of warm fireplaces.

Hot tea to coat the soul

White winter dreams

Emerging through the long, cold, dark nights

Twinkling like the stars

That guide us from above.

It’s just a dusting of snow

For now it’s here

And tomorrow it may be gone

Flying away, melting back to earth

Like the thoughts that stream through

Our warm winter dreams.

 

 

Cherish and the Silver Box of Love

She took her love, such a precious gift

And she carefully wrapped it in fine silk,

covered it in lace,

tied it with a pretty purple bow.

Gingerly, she laid her love in the silver box

And handed it over to her beloved.

Her beloved at first embraced the gift

Displayed it for all to see, the shiny silver box, in the place of cherish.

Eventually the silver box grew older

And beloved grew ever so tired

Of remembering to return to the place of chreish

And care for the exquisite gift of love.

The silver box of love was slowly buried

Under the heavy weight of years’ old anger, fear, and rejection.

The giver of the box grew old and tired and herself.

One day she really woke up, seeing deeply in the mirror

The silver streaks in her hair and wrinkles cascading her face

Warning her that this lifetime was short.

There was a small yearning inside of herself

And she found herself in the place of cherish.

She began to slowly dig through the weight that was burying the silver box

She used her strengths of love, of compassion, of caring

And grain by grain, she unearthed the box once more.

Though the box was nearly broken from the weight it had withstood

Inside the tarnished silver covering

She found the beautiful purple bow

The still white lace

The soft silk protective cover.

And love was still alive there

Not worn or tarnished

But as pristine and unconditional as the day

She had decided to give it away.

She returned to her beloved and said

Look what I have unearthed, from the place of cherish

And they cried with delight

To know that no matter the weight of the pain

Love somehow lived on and on.

Attachment

I know you

My addiction, my attachment

Even though I left you behind

Now some years ago

You emerge in my dreams.

Sometimes I startle back to consciousness

And I think

No, I can’t go back to that.

And some waking days I think of you

Or long for what you did for me

And I can smell you and see you there

I can feel the craving so deep

I want you.

I want to drink you, eat you, consume you, purge you.

But I did not work this hard

Come this far

To find myself sitting down there

With you, miserable after the pleasure and pain.

My attachment, though I have left you behind

Not to worry, you are still here

Reminding me, again and again

Every day a new opportunity to release you anew.

 

 

Eagle or

I thought it was an eagle

At first

Grandly flying by

Oh, wait …

~

Look harder now

See what I can see

Maybe it’s just a gull

Betraying of my eyes

~

Breathe and notice

The river gone out to sea

The blue, blue sky

The fading of the day

~

She flies by again

Graceful and giant

Huge wing span

Oh, Osprey

~

So clear now

And I can let go

Let go of desire for eagle

And embrace the osprey

I should be

I should be writing, I think

Instead I am just sitting here

Stumbling, grumbling, grasping

Fighting with the words

That keep getting stuck

in the nooks and crannies of my head.

@&*%^

I should be singing

With a full heart and voice

Sending it out

Across the Universe

For you to sing too

Instead I sit quietly

A burning lump in my throat

@$%^@

I should be running

Faster and stronger

Moving from here to there and back

Again, repeat, again

Meanwhile I lay perfectly still

staring at the icicles

Dripping and losing themselves

+@#$%

Something in me wiggles and writhes about

This is not right to do just nothing

To be bored and restless

Find a focus, something urges

Do something, get busy

Grade these papers, edit that paper

Write this poem

@+&*(

Or go somehwere

Get in your car and go somewhere

Shopping, movie, food, coffee, clothes, shoes

Yoga, gym, hiking, skiing, therapy, bodywork, library

Anything, just get out and go

Here or there or wherever

*&%^$

Or meditate, yes that is it!

Go deep and feel it

Oh yes, that came from here and this from there

And I can feel it there, and here, and over there

What a crazy little monkey mind you have there

And oh yes, write about it

Journal it all up and tie it with a bow

+(*&^

Just do something

The mind propels, compels, active and wild,

Bored and restless and angry

You can’t just sit there

Curled up on the couch like that

Under how many cuddly blankets

Napping like some middle aged loser baby

@*&$

Don’t just be

Don’t just rest

Don’t just sit there

This is it, just today

Remember all of those other days you just sat there?

+_$%^

I should be….