Untethered

I was standing in the tower

In the place of the mountain

City by the beautiful bay

Looking out into the darkness

I was so untethered there

That all I could do was think of you

And dream you into my life.

The next day I ran

I ran and ran along the sea

Through the fog

And up to the crest of the 1000 foot mountain

Overlooking the churning deep blue sea.

I was afraid to go closer

Closer to the edge, because part of me was there already

Sitting on the edge of that high seaside mountain

Thinking of flying off, and not flying off.

To fly and really feel how untethered to this world I was

Or to sit back down on the earth

And go back to dreaming of a weight, weight to hold me here.

The depth of emptiness, loneliness at that time

Is hard, and yet not hard at all, to recall and I am not quite sure

What pulled me through, why I did not fly those days on the mountain

There must have been the dreams I still had

Of one day, a family, one day a tethering to this world.

For me it did come, the bracing to life, but it was a long journey back

One I still walk each day, as I examine the fragile tethering that holds me

And if you are felling untethered, I would like to say hold on

Healing is possible, reach out for this line

That I am tossing to you now

I will be your tether whenever, however I can

I’ll hold you in this space on earth.

 

 

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To Know You

I want to look through your eyes

And see the world, just as you do

I want to walk in your shoes

And know what it means to be you.

~

I want to know the inside of you

Somehow flow through your blood

And know all things good and bad

Hear your heart up close, as it goes thud, thud thud.

~

I want to hear the world the way you do

And hold it all brand new

Smell the smells and see the sights

Know what is real and what is true.

~

Alas it’s just a dream I have

To know you as I know myself

But one day, this dream just may come true

Before the end of time, becoming the universal oneself.

There was a girl

Chapter 1:

There was a girl and she liked to work.

She would work and work and work.

Nobody could do all of this

But her…

Chapter II:

What would they do without me? she wondered.

She was so needed, and the work was so special.

And one day she woke up

A pain here, an ache there.

And another day she could not fall asleep

Worrying, worrying, worrying.

Chapter III:

And then one night she yelled and screamed

Wondering what was happening to her.

Where was the girl going?

Why was she striving so?

What was the point, the purpose, the meaning, the cost?

Chapter IV:

And so she collapsed. She fell down into a deep chair.

She knew, this was enough. Her body was telling her, her heart was aching.

She felt every cell in her body

Directing her back to herself.

Give up the awards and rewards, it whispered… come back home.

Chapter V:

She slowly, slowly, began to recover.

She used the right herbals and medicines

She slept, exercised, laughed, cried,

She went to work and then she left work.

She took whole days with no work at all.

Chapter VI

Eventually she figured it out; how to make her work her play

And her play her work

How to enjoy each day

Through presence, gratitude, love, and finding joy.

And she shared that joy and love with all.

Will I Remember?

Sitting in this body

Trying on a different life

Slowly I remember

What it used to be like…

And I am not sure which is better or worse,

But I do know there are different ways to be.

I wonder if I can remember

Why I came here, where I am headed

What will I end up being

My impact on this earth.

I do remember that love and joy

Striving for peace

They are important, essential for all.

Will I remember

To put these into daily practice

To return again and again

Will I remember

That some things just don’t matter

As much as I think they do.

To love, live, find peace

To be with family and friends

To eat well and be loved

To enjoy this precious body.

These form the basis of remeberance

Of simple steps toward healing and growth.

So you may not remember me when I am gone

All I left done and undone

But I hope to leave behind

Some sort of memory of love

Of peace

Of joy

Of hope.

So that you might remember as well…

Inhaling

I inhale

Again, again, again

Breathing and relaxing

Being with the inhale

~

When I open my eyes

The world has shifted

And changed in ways

I can’t explain.

~

Suddenly, I am more at ease

I am more myself

Lighter in body

Stronger in being

~

Now I am more present

More aware of the endless beauty

It’s all right before me

Beautiful leaves, smiling children, happy music

~

So I will come back again

And breathe slowly

Inhaling and relishing

This way to change the world.

Sisters’ Prayer

You are my sisters

Not by blood, but by profession

And I honor your journey

Through this small heart felt expression.

~

Dear sisters, I cannot imagine

The feelings you have about this plight

But know that we stand beside you

Shining our nursing light.

~

We pray now for all the best

For great healing to be upon you

For love, for light, for peace, and ease

May your healing be complete, through and through.

~

Nurse Amber Vinson and Nurse Nina Pham

Dear sisters, we are now connected

We stand beside you through it all

All nurses have been affected.

~

We look forward to hearing your story of healing

And all that you can share

We will hold you in the loving light

Doing what nurses do: We Care.

Summer Home

I tried not to drag out

The long sweet good bye.

I simply gazed upon you

Shining so bright and alive.

~

So farewell for now

My dear sweet place

Where all of these months

You have been my solid base.

~

I leave you in colors

Bright with crimson and gold

Soon they too will flee

Crumbling and crinkly, gone and old.

~

I know you will stand here solidly

All through the winter long

And when I return

I will bring with me a new song.

~

A song of love

Of generosity and light

A song to sing aloud

through the changing season’s light.