Sometimes Grief

Sometimes grief slips out

When I am least aware.

Like when the person on the radio says something so relatable,

Or the book my child is reading makes a relevant point,

And I feel it well up inside of me.

Throat constricting, tears brimming, nose running.

Usually I feel it and think why?

Why should I care anymore, you have been gone so long?

I should be over this….

Even as the tears slide down my face, and I pretend like I still don’t care.

It doesn’t matter that you were not kind

That you had not the ability to be thoughtful

That you were too broken

To be a caring person

and

That we were not close those last years.

Estrangement does not loosen the grip of grief

Though it can make it difficult

To break down and walk through the stoney cold wall

That was built up for protection.

But every now and then it happens

The proper words, the forgotten song,

The right set and setting…

And only then the grief leaks out, in micro amounts.

A few tears spilling down my cheeks

Silent, heart aching, never ending

A quiet reminder

That you are still missed.

Only then, grief spills out.

 

 

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Summer Love

Sunshine beats down on me

Until that precious moment when

Your gentle breezes cool my body.

Summer.

Rain, lightening, thunder, humidity

Not one endless stream of happy weather

Wind kicks up white caps on the lake.

Summer.

Hiking, laughing, sleeping, playing

Mini-golf, ice cream, sweet corn

Outdoor concerts.

Summer.

And yet now, fall begins to creep in

Cooler evenings, brisk mornings, leaves changing

We bid you a fond farewell and adieu.

Dear summer.

 

 

 

 

 

One Love

I am
One Love.
I will not stand for
Hatred
Racism
White Supremacy
Bigotry
Misogyny
Terrorism

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I am
One Love.
I will stand for
Kindness
Caring
Compassion
Empathy
Equality
Love for all mankind
I am
One Love.
You
Me
All of Us
Together
We are United
We are Love
We are One Love.

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Freedom

One day we will rise up

With small smiles in our eyes

Our hearts bursting with love

And we will know peace.

One morning we will turn our backs

And walk slowly away

Knowing conscious freedom

Oppression now a thing of the past.

No more doubt, no more fear

Strength from within emerges

Kindness, care, compassion

Ruling this big blue planet.

Until then, I will believe

In the kindness of strangers

In the light from your eyes

In the call of the birds

And the warm breeze blowing over me.

I will believe in a greater good

A daily miracle from nature

A stronger power of presence.

I will believe in the season of change

Stepping up and moving forward

A path laid out at my feet

And freedom for all.

Moments

Rainbows and dark clouds
Tiny white flowers dotting the trail’s edge
Waves crashing to the shore
Steaming hot day.

Sounds of a lawn mower
A siren blares
A radio in the distance
The cat meows quietly.

Rain hitting the roof
Warm breeze blowing through the window
Childs’ laughter at the park
Dog whines at the door.

Moment to moment
Sound to sound
Presence in the here, the now
Moments….

Keep Your Silence

They noticed me
And rushed over
Only to screech out
Far too loudly
Shhhusshhh now
Step down and go away
You must keep your silence to yourself.
*
Your silence is breaking us
It is its own form of protest
So you must tuck it in
To that crevice in your brain
Where little else matters.
*
But…but…I like my silence
It gives me refuge
And peace
Comfort and light flow through my silence
Can’t you see my spirit when I am silent?
Breathing, moving yet unmoving
I smile when I am silent.
*
Keep it, your silence
There is no space for it here, now
There is no time or taste for such things
There is only time to speak up
To shout loudly
To roll in anger, confusion, righteousness, and despair.
*
Yet, when I am silent it creates even more space
For something new to emerge
Great healing, great love
And others’ songs can come through
When I am silent
A new time emerges, as the old slips by.
*
No, they answered
The silence is too scary, too unknown
We can’t tell what you are really thinking
When there’s too much space, and openness
Anything might leak through
And come crashing out like a
Sonic boom to the heart.
*
Oh, I say
And I shut my eyes
Returning again and again
To this moment
This breath
This crushing power of silence.

 

Reflection

Look out your window

And notice the still quietness

A calm and quiet river

Reflecting back all she sees. 

Trees float gently on her surface

Golden in the early morning light. 

Clouds on the horizon

Puffy cotton gliding lightly on the surface.

And mighty sun, she rises

Orange, red, pink, yellow

Vibrant mirror like presence.

This is the place where fire meets water

The impossible becomes reality

Right before you

River reflects life.